Law v Convenience

I cross the road on pedestrian crossings. When I'm at a crossing with lights, I wait till it goes green, even if there isn't a single vehicle on the road. Now if your were from a country where people cross the road responsibly and there is a general acceptance of the Law of the road, then the statements i made may not seem so strange. However if you are from a country like ours, then you will think I'm a madman who should be locked up (at least that's what people tell me).

People in our country treat the traffic rule book as a necessary evil to pass their driver's license. I'm serious, I'm getting my license and I have to study it, and, like me, many will read those rules before they are allowed behind the wheel. However after getting the license people, for some peculiar reason, seem to forget all the rules! That is why, in Sri Lanka, we have motorcyclists using the sidewalks as highways to bypass traffic, tri-shaw drivers who stop their three-wheeled metal coffin in the middle of the road to ask people if they want a lift, and bus drivers who must be still dreaming, because they think they are still rally drivers. While these are major annoyances, something that really makes me want to pull my hair out while laughing like a maniac, is the way pedestrians use the main roads. Not by-ways and small side roads mind you, I'm talking about major dual carriageways and the busiest road networks. If you come to Sri Lanka you will notice that people get down from the bus at the bus stop and simply cross the road immediately. Some get down when the bus is stopped at the lights, right in the middle lane, and simply stroll to the side of the road.

Crossings are treated like lava. You know that game we played when we were kids with either sofa cushions or big stones? Don't touch the lava? Yeah that's the one. People cross the road, without using the crossing, when it's actually a few steps away. I'm not even talking in meters. If they just walked five steps more then they have a pedestrian crossing. But why go through that hassle? Just cross wherever and whenever you want. If you are a driver, you will stop for someone at the pedestrian crossing, then immediately have to stop again for some cow a few feet away from the pedestrian crossing. Shouldn't say cow though. In our country, stray cattle and dogs use crossings more than humans. You would think they study the highway code.

People on crossings however, aren't all that fantastic either. You stop for them and then they stare at you for ages, like its such a mystery of the universe that someone stopped for them to cross the road, when they were standing at a pedestrian crossing. And when they do put their brains in gear and cross, its like they just got up in the morning and are taking the trip to the bathroom. Its really frustrating and annoying.

Now, I don't have license yet so i can't drive. However, I do the passenger thing brilliantly. I'm an expert at being driven around by my mother, father, Pips and my friends. Pips shouts at all humans on the road. My mother on the other hand goes nuts when people wander all over the road. She frequently shouts at pedestrians who sleepwalk across pedestrian crossings. I have heard many of my friends complain about this issue as well. They are all very annoyed. Here comes the weird thing though; when my mother, Pips or any one of my friends walks with me (I like walking, mostly because i can't do much else, and do it frequently as a method of travel), they call me a nuisance, crazy person, madman, idiot, "pissa", "modaya", fat-silly-man and many other colorful adjectives and nouns, just because i insist we cross on a pedestrian crossing. These are the same people who want to nuke the jaywalkers and murder their loved ones, but, have no qualms whatsoever when they do it themselves. They laugh at me for crossing on pedestrian crossings and when i question them about it, pointing out their hypocrisy, my mother tells me to just shut up and cross; Pips says the same thing, only sometimes she pinches me; and my friends just laugh and make more fun of me. This just shows that people would do things just because its more convenient, even if it is illegal. Its scary though. It starts with jaywalking and could just escalate to murder. "Why wait in line at the bank counter when i can just machine-gun the people in front of me?"

This is a knotty problem though. Laws should accommodate people. But, should accommodate all people so must be fair. You can't have crossings every 10 feet because then cars would be stationary all the time. Why can't people just walk a few feet more to a crossing? Is it unfair on the pedestrians? Or is it unfair on the drivers?

Its just me and the cows. Oh and the doggies.

-Wips

Parents: Worst Back Seat Drivers Ever?

For me, driving is always fun and very exciting. That doesn’t mean I am a “careless driver” (I think) or crazy (Wips says I am, what does he know?). I consider myself on par with a Formula 1 driver and am always confident in my driving. However, my mother gets quite a few heart attacks when I am driving and keeps shouting like I’m going to murder her. My father rarely sits next to me when I’m in the driving seat.

On one such rare day, when I was driving, my father next to me, half asleep at about 11 in the night, I accelerated to about 70 kph. Suddenly my father woke up and gave me a good knock on my head, which resulted in me breaking very hard in the middle of the road. I was told to drive under 60 kph. I was surprised. There was absolutely no one on the road at that time. And the best part is my father kept his hand on the hand breaks for the rest of the journey.

I was legally examined by an official driving examiner and have passed my driving examinations. I am pretty confident about my driving skills as well. I admit the fact that they are very protective and concerned of my well-being but is it necessary to be over protective towards their children?

When I drive my mother to her office in the morning, she keeps using the imaginary breaks, (which I find really funny) even when I am driving at an average speed. I have to drive the car the way my father or my mother wants.

Wips says I should be balanced in my critique and talk about the “other side”. Well yes, I suppose sometimes parents, anyone really, would feel a bit worried when they are being driven around. You are in the hands of someone else. It could be daunting. Also parents would naturally be worried about their kids’ driving. Plus they would still have that notion that they are after all the parents and their children should drive that way, simply because they are told to do so.

So maybe my driving might not be the safest in the world. Maybe sometimes I do things that make my mother scream. But I still believe that passengers in the vehicle pose a larger threat if they keep distracting the driver. Parents and children never agree on things usually. Even in driving styles I suppose. Do you guys think its fair for parents to expect their kids to drive the way they want? Or do you think passengers should just keep their opinions to themselves?

-Pips

Chivalry

Is it dying or being murdered?

A Gentleman. We say this word frequently and hear it every where. “Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to...” and all that. The word is defined as a man who is “chivalrous”, “courteous”, or “honorable”. Its an old fashioned statement and an old fashioned way of existence now. They say chivalry is dying in the world. But there are still strong instances where a man will still open the door for a lady, stand up when someone shakes their hand or give the tired looking old lady a seat on the bus.

Sadly, it is becoming very rare in our beautiful country. We Sri Lankans are known to have taken all the wrong things from our British colonial rulers from the time we were a dominion. We took all the snobbery, all the elitist classism and use the capability of speaking that wonderful language, English, as a weapon . People do not remember the courtesy and politeness that also came with that culture. Our culture is very rich, mostly because its fed by so many ethnicities. But we stubbornly stick to all the bad traditions and let go of the good that is part of it.

Pips was in the bus the other day. She called me and when she told me she was standing (she was carrying several heavy bags) I asked jokingly if there weren't any gentlemen around willing to give her a seat. What she said was that while there were several members of the fair sex standing, some of them old ladies with their weekly shopping in massive bags, The seats were occupied mostly by young men. Our buses have seats that are specifically reserved for the disabled, pregnant and the clergy. But I myself have seen many “manly”, bearded, testosterone filled meat bags sitting very comfortably on seats with “Reserved for Pregnant Women” hanging over them.

The reason for this “death” in chivalry is the elitist mentality of people. The “posh” individuals, as we derisively call them in Sri Lanka, are those who have quasi British accents and look down on the “common” folk. They spend there time going to expensive cafes and boutiques and talk about their neighbor's daughter running off with a low caste man or some such nonsense. The surprising thing is that the so called “normal” people who are not snobbish are even worse. The well-to-do are, unfairly to those who are polite and downright good people, always seen as the snobs and made fun of. When we have such petty issues how is it possible to create Gentlemen who are, courteous and polite? Especially when we see gentlemanliness as a big headed “foreign” ideal.

Now what I wanted to ask you guys is this: Since these issues are known and people may be doing something about it, its actually old news. However in today's world does chivalry have a place? We are all for equality and treating people in the same way. So, would it be sexist to hold the door for a woman? Simply because she is a woman? If so should chivalry be allowed not to slowly die, but, be exterminated completely and without pity? Such mysteries…

Should I keep opening doors for the girls?

-Wips